Shelter Island is an artificial peninsula in San Diego Bay, which contains hotels, restaurants, marina, and public parks. Known for its remote location, its breathtaking views of the bay, and its quiet seaside atmosphere, Shelter Island is one of those hidden gems that tourists of San Diego don’t frequent as much, so it maintains its charm for locals. At Shelter Island’s northernmost tip, the Polynesian-fusion restaurant Bali Hai is one of the best places to watch the San Diego skyline glitter golden from the setting sun, fade into twilight fog, and light up again against the inky darkness of the calm waters of the San Diego Bay.
The last time I went to Shelter Island was to have the last meal I shared with my maternal grandmother before she passed in July 2025. The whole family kind of knew that this would be grandma’s last trip, one last pilgrimage from Phoenix to San Diego and back, and she requested only that we find a restaurant in San Diego with oceanfront views, her beloved Anthony’s having lost its bid to renew its lease in San Diego’s North Embarcadero in 2016. At the time of her last trip to San Diego, my now husband and I were living in Hillcrest, and we suggested Bali Hai instead, which grandma loved.
My grandmother was not an unkind person or an ungenerous one, but she had exerted a degree of control and power over the family dynamic for many years that I found uncomfortable and alienating. She and I had a complicated relationship, and though we loved each other, there was always tension between us and we had fallen out more than once. While I was somewhat able to reconcile my relationship with her in the days leading up to her death, I have felt emotionally constricted since her passing, because there was never enough time or space to express how much we had hurt each other, and she had certainly offered me much more grace than I had felt able to offer her. I know that I said things I didn’t mean and meant things I didn’t say, but I would like to remember my grandmother with more fondness than regret.
Shelter Island is more than just a quiet spit of land tucked away in San Diego for me, just as Bali Hai is more than a restaurant for my family. It’s the last place I saw my grandmother before she and I fell out one last time. It’s the last place I remember feeling that tension that was so emblematic of the relationship I had with her. This work is about regret and healing and somehow also laughter, the ocean breeze tickling flushed faces meeting for one last sunset dinner by the sea.
Commissioned by Stephen Caplan for the 2025-2026 University of Nevada Las Vegas Nextet Season and in memoriam of my grandmother, Shelter Island captures that last happy family dinner in that quiet, torchlit neighborhood of San Diego.